Blind

So what's the first thing that comes to mind when someone says the word blind? A visually challenged person, a strategy in a game of cards or a window curtain? To me, the first thought is always dating :-). The first time I heard of this concept was in college when we used to have a blind dating sort of things in our cultural festival where guys and girls would provide their names to the organizer and random matches would be made and then those couples would get to go on a date. I was pretty sure it was rigged by the organizers to set the pretty girls up with their friends or themselves!

Anyways, I have had two such experiences in USA and they were quite different from each other. With one of the girls I had exchanged quite a few emails and talked a few times before we met. She said she was pretty and she indeed was... in addition she was nice to talk to and was fun to be with. We had a coffee followed by a movie and dinner and then went our ways. We didn't get to meet again as we both got busy but it was a pleasant experience over all. The second one, claimed to be pretty as well and 'height and weight proportionate'! It was only after I met her that I had to recalibrate and associate that phrase with short and overweight. Anyways, she was not fun to be with, was too uncomfortable the whole time and had strong opinions about almost everything which happened to be in stark contrast with my own. The interaction moved back and forth between a dull conversation and an interview. Needless to say we never met again.

Since then I have moved back to India and dating here has a very different meaning. A few months ago I met someone online, she was from Mumbai so naturally we thought of meeting. She was reluctant to share her photograph before meeting citing the reason that she is not very photogenic and that she looks much better than her photographs. I didn't insist on it and decided to meet her directly. Big mistake! As the actual meeting would reveal "not photogenic" was a gross understatement. Anyways, I thought at least she might be interesting to talk to but the drabness of that meeting made the 2nd encounter I had in US look exciting in comparison.

I had three more such instances in the following few months where the girl either didn't share her photograph with me before meeting or the photograph was way too old or obscure to be a reflection of her at present. In all cases, and now I have started to believe that this is almost a rule, the girl was not even remotely close to how pretty she initially claimed she was. A corollary to that rule seems to be that the girls who aren't confident enough to share their picture irrespective of whether they look attractive or not are not very good conversationalists either and are very easy to irk. It's like they have some kind of an inferiority complex which manifests itself in their entire behaviour. Anything you say or do can be and will be held against you to prove that you are either being adamant, or rude or at the very least non-agreeable. There are some exceptions to this rule though - like the last person I met, she had an extremely inflated perception of her capabilities. She had three goals in life - 1. Write a book and win the Booker or something, 2. Win the Nobel Prize and 3. Become the President of India. (Yes, I did verify that she was indeed serious!)

So, as exciting as the idea might sound, I have eventually decided against going blind when it comes to dating. I now refuse to meet people if I haven't seen a recent photograph at the least. I might be losing out on a potentially nice person but I am quite confident that the odds of that happening are so low that I will end up meeting many more that are not exceptions and I am not sure how many of them I can take.

So from now on, I want to see what cards I have got before I decide to play.

Back To Square One

Before you read any further, if you want to make head or tail of this post, then please read the first part of this post, Pink Is the Color.

So, I am sitting in my hotel room wondering what to do. I ordered room service as I was in no mood to venture outside and opened the television. I don't remember what was playing, too much on my mind anyways. Fortunately, I had a data card with me so I was able to get online. I had some unfinished work from office so I did that for a while, chatted with a couple of friends and replied to emails... this consumed about a couple of hours of mine.

At about 10 pm Ms Pink (the reason I call her Ms Pink is because it was her favorite color and she often dressed in pink) comes online and pings me on gtalk. We start chatting and she tells me that she liked the sketch I gave her earlier in the day. This right here was the high point of my trip... being appreciated for something I did right... then she asked me if I was mad at something because I didn't talk much. I told her that I wasn't mad, but I was disappointed that I didn't get to spend time with her alone as I initially had thought of. When I asked why she didn't talk much her answer was because I didn't... and then she blamed me for paying more attention to her sister than her and she felt that I was trying to make her jealous... I was like... hello! what happened to your sister's opinion being important to you and that I should impress her and all?... and then after a while she tells me that I was rude to her sister by denying to come home for dinner!

I tried hard to explain it to her that I didn't mean to be rude and it was only because I wasn't very comfortable talking to her in front of her sister. Then she said I responded so rudely when she asked for my plan for tomorrow. Obviously I was shocked at the question in the first place... I told her that I was assuming we are going to spend the day together so why did she have to ask... she didn't buy this argument (just like all others I had offered till that point). Anyways, I suggested that we put this behind us and meet again the next day, just the two of us and things will be fine. Then she tells me that her dad will not allow us to meet alone. This came as a shock to me... I was shocked because I had made it very clear to her even before coming that it's really important that I get to spend time with her alone rather than in front of her family. She had agreed to it with the caveat that first I will have to come home and then ask permission from her dad. Later on, she even said that she will take care of it and I don't have to worry about it... but I was taken aback when over this chat she said that she had already told me that we will not be allowed to spend time alone! She was like there was a 50% chance that this might happen... I tried to stay calm and I said "I had pinned my hopes to the 50% chance that we will get to spend time just with each other.." and take this... she is like "but you could have hoped for the other 50% that we will not get to do that"... I am like, "do you even understand the concept of hope? the way it works is you hope for the outcome you desire... not the other way round..." and by this time you should not be surprised when I tell you that she didn't buy this logic either... she kept on insisting that I was unjustified in expecting that we will get some personal time... She summarized the conversation by blaming it for all that had happened during the day, refused to make any plan for the next day as she had already made me an offer (when she asked me what was my plan for tomorrow) which I had declined in her view... anyways, it was her sleep time by then, so we ended the chat with no conclusion... she went to sleep and I went to curse myself!

Next morning, I get up hoping for a reversal of fortune, I call my bhaiya-bhabhi in Mumbai and tell them the whole story. They suggested that it might be good if my dad talks to her dad and asks for permission to let us meet alone. So, my bhabhi talked to my dad and then dad calls her dad... asked him if we can spend some time together... and her dad politely refused, citing the "zamana bahut kharab hai" reason. He even refused to let us meet in a cafe near his house and graciously agreed to let us spend about half hour in a room in his house itself! So, I called Ms Pink again and I ask her a basic question that if her dad can't trust me even this much today to let me meet you in a cafe then suppose I go back home now and say yes, what will change all of a sudden that he will be ready to trust me enough to let her spend the rest of her life with me?... and she went ballistic after that, she was like how can you talk about my dad like this, why do you have to insult him over such a small issue blah blah blah... now I tried hard to interpret my sentence in a way that could mean an insult to her dad but I couldn't... may be my English teacher in high school wasn't as educated as hers... may be I skipped a few classes when she was teaching "reading between the lines"... Anyways, then I asked her that without spending enough time with me how will she be able to decide that whether she wants to get married to me or not... man, that girl never failed to surprise me... she was like, it's my life, it's my decision whether I want to get married or not... how can you question my choice to get married? ... and all my attempts to explain to her that I was not questioning her choice to get married but questioning her rationale to get married to me went in vain... she belonged to a different school of thought than me... the one where they don't allow your mind to interact with logic or reason of any nature.

I eventually agreed to meet her at home for half an hour but by then she had had enough of my nonsense. She is like, whatever you would talk in that half hour, you can just ask me over the phone! Then I asked her why did she let me make an elaborate 3 day plan if all she wanted to do was see me once... and she was like, well you said 3 days... how could I have said no from my side... So, as a last resort I asked her if she knows me enough now to make a decision if I go back without meeting her again and she said yes!

So, that was it... I hung up the phone... we didn't meet again, we didn't talk again either on that trip or after coming back to Mumbai. I still had two days to kill in Jaipur... luckily I had my camera with me :-) ... my best friend! I went and checked out the Birla temple, Hawa Mahal, Jantar Mantar and City Palace... took some good pictures, learned a little bit about the history of the pink city and a lot about the girl in pink!

Pink Is The Color

I am known among my friends to be a very patient and composed person... I think it's a more or less accurate statement about me... I am very practical and take most setbacks in my stride and don't usually over react. But sometimes it's just too much to take, there are times when I wish I could let out my anger and get really really mad at someone... that I didn't have to be nice about the whole thing... this was one of those very moments...

I am not much of a New Year's Eve person... as in I rarely go out and party on the night of 31st December... I either spent it at home with family or may be with some close friends... I think the fact that weeks before the eve everyone starts asking you your plans for the night kind of turns me off... So, this time around as usual I didn't make any plans and when a possibility came that I may have to go to Jaipur to meet a girl on the 31st, I was sure I am not going to miss out on much fun... as a matter of fact I thought that this might turn out be a great new year's eve if things go well... now I am not one of those people who like to use different size fonts in their writing otherwise the "if" in the last sentence would have been font 32.

I had been talking to this girl, whom for the sake of convenience I am going to call Ms Pink for the rest of the story, for a little over two months and she seemed like a very sweet girl... beautiful, educated, down to earth, caring and honest... at least that's how I had felt so far. One negative I could think of till then was that she was too obsessed with herself, thinking about her all the time... or as she put it in her own words, "In Love with Myself". Anyways, I was quite excited about her and was thinking that this might actually be the real thing... I was leaving for United States on the 4th of Jan so I knew I wouldn't get to see her again for at least another month so I reserved 3 days for the Jaipur trip and let her know that I would like to meet her on all 3 days of my stay in the city. I reserved a hotel quite close to her house so that I spend less time traveling and more time with her. We planned that I will meet her family on the first day and then for the rest of the day and the other days, she will show me around Jaipur and we will get to know each other better. So far so good.

I arrived in Jaipur on the 31st morning, took a cab and reached my hotel shortly and sent her an SMS letting her know that I have come (she was in a class therefore didn't call her). I got up pretty early in the morning so was quite sleepy... so after I had my breakfast I caught up on my sleep. I woke up by her phone call at about 11:30, she sounded excited to have me there and she said she will get ready and then come and pick me up... she wanted another hour and half to get ready... seemed like a lot of time to me but that was understandable... she wanted to look her best. She finally came to pick me up around 1:30... her dad was with her in the car... we had a quick introduction in the car and she drove us home. At home I met her mom and elder sister. Her mom was busy in the kitchen and the rest of us sat in the living room talking. I had brought with me a hand made sketch of her (she insisted on me making one for her) so I handed it to her and then the trio (she, her sister and her dad) started on the never ending quest of finding flaws in the sketch. Now, I am one of those people who can take criticism but that sketch was beautiful! And before starting with nit picking I would have liked a few words of appreciation... if not for my art, at least for my effort or gesture! Wasn't meant to be... At one point her dad was like, her hair look thicker in the sketch than they actually are... I think I should have given up any remaining hopes at that time... unfortunately I didn't. Her dad and I talked for over an hour... he had a lot of questions which I gracefully answered. Ms Pink was unusually quiet all this time. I thought it's because of the presence of her father.

We had lunch after that... before the table was set, me and Ms Pink had a few moments to ourselves so I tried to have a conversation with her but she didn't talk at all... I didn't feel like she was the same girl I had been talking to for over two months... Anyways, the food was delicious. After the lunch her dad and sister were having a conversation and suddenly he looks at me and says... "yeh aapke chehre par kya hua, koi accident ho gaya tha kya?" and I am like... "nahin Uncle, pimples hain!" ... second sign that I should have got up and left but I stayed anyways... then he asked me what's the plan for the day and I said that she is going to show me around. So he talked about the places we can visit and the order in which we should go see them. So, when we were all set to leave her dad and sister came to the gate to see us off but no, I was terribly wrong... her sister didn't come to see us off... she came to JOIN us! isn't that wonderful... Anyways, I remember Ms Pink telling me earlier that she values her sister's opinion so I thought ok she wants her to know me well to give an informed opinion... so I tried hard to make conversation with her sister... and I really had to try hard... neither were exactly the most engaging people you see. Ms Pink meanwhile was busy complaining about the sun and the heat (it was 31st of Dec and it was cold!). I think during the course of the day, she cursed the sunlight and the traffic more than she talked to me! She didn't take me to the places her dad had suggested, she didn't even ask me what are the places I would like to visit, or whether I am ok with going to a place of her choice.. she just took me to the places of her choice.

The first one was an exhibition, a pretty lame one... we wondered around for two hours there, no one speaking to anyone (I did speak to her sister once every 10-15 minutes), no one interested in any of the exhibits (remember, it was a lame exhibition) and Ms Pink kept complaining about the sun. We went to a couple of similar lame places and most of them she would just drive by telling me that behind that door there is this and that... she would make one terrible tour guide if she ever decided to switch careers. So after 2-3 hours of seeing exhibitions, parks, movie halls and gardens she takes me to an electronic store to buy a refrigerator for her home! Am I sounding thrilled to you by now? If not then tell me... because I should be thrilled... I mean c'mon... I have traveled from Mumbai to Jaipur to meet this girl for the first time and I get to go out with her and her sister to pick up a refrigerator for her home... what more can a guy ask for? Turns out... a lot more! After refrigerator shopping she checked out some clothes and other random shops in the mall. Not left with many choices, I started looking at the clothes as well... we were in the women's section so I was checking out some girls' shirts. Ms Pink sees me looking at a shirt and asks me, "kiske liye dekh rahe ho?" I am like, nothing special, just like that. She didn't buy this point, she was like, "rahne do... itne dhyaan se to main bhi nahin dekh rahi!"

Anyways, when we were about to leave the mall, she asks me in front of her sister, "Do you generally talk less or is it because my sister is with us?" ... well I knew the answer but I have enough etiquette not to say it on her sister's face, so I dodged the question. Then we went and had some snacks and she casually asks me, "so, what's your plan for tomorrow?". The question came as a surprise to me as I had clearly told her that I want to spend all 3 days with her. Plus the first day didn't go according to the plans anyways, so didn't look like we were on the same page in terms of the plans for my trip. So I told her I don't know... she was like, you don't know... and I said, yeah, I don't know! I didn't realize until later that these were the most impactful words I said during the whole trip!

They dropped me to the hotel after that. When I was getting out of the car, her sister made an offer for dinner at their home which I politely declined, I didn't think I could handle more of it in one day. So, I went back to my hotel room utterly frustrated after a long and boring day, to celebrate new year's eve alone in my room, watching TV just like most other years. If time had stopped right there, I would have said it was still not such a bad new year's eve... but unfortunately the time and the story continued...

To Be Continued...

A Date With Destiny

Let me admit upfront that I stole the title of this post from a Raymond billboard I saw yesterday. For someone who doesn't believe in destiny, it's nothing more than a fancy misnomer. Yet, somehow I find the title very captivating, somehow I feel like writing about it - if not a real date then at least about an imaginary one I want to have.

What would a date with destiny be like and how would it be different from a regular date? When and how, if at all, would you know that whom you just met was indeed your destiny? Would nothing go wrong on such a date, would there be an immediate unexplainable liking for each other, would you go weak in your knees or get butterflies in your stomach? Will you talk non-stop or will words seem unnecessary while your eyes do the endless talking, will time cease to move or fly by instead?

What if nothing like this happens, nothing extraordinary, nothing that you do not usually expect in a date? You meet, you look at each other, you make eye contact, you talk and you smile. Nothing more... nothing that tells you that this is special... All there is to it is an irrational feeling inside you that this one was different, that there's more to it than one can explain, that it was like never before and that there wouldn't be anything like this again... I don't know what happened and I don't know why I feel this way... all I can think of right now is - Did I just have a date with my destiny? Wish I knew...

Coffee At Midnight

This was funny... I had been talking to this girl in Mumbai for about 3 days... it was Monday and I had just returned to Mumbai from a trip to Bangalore. I was getting late so I went straight to the office from the airport. I left office at about 11:30 in the night and the office cab was dropping me home. On the way home I get a call from her and we are talking about random stuff... my hobbies, travels etc and somehow the discussion went towards being impulsive and she asked me, "are you an impulsive guy?" I think I should have lied but I said yes... and she is like, then ok, come to meet me now! I am like, I should come to Bandra from Powai at around midnight, just like that...? and she is like, yeah, that's being impulsive... I tried to get out of it but she was hell bent on testing my impulsiveness... so I was like what the heck... let's go. I asked the driver to drop me to Bandra instead. He dropped me at a landmark she asked me to wait at so that she can come pick me up. And for the next several minutes that I had to wait for her, I felt so weird that it's hard to explain.

Staying on a quite road in front of a church after midnight, being stared at the scarce passers by... and no matter how confident I was in making a decision to stop by, not knowing whether the person I have been talking to is real and not an old friend playing a prank... or the worst thought that she might stand me up... all this made me quite uncomfortable to say the least. All of a sudden I started doubting the wisdom of my so called impulsive decision...

Anyways, after a long 15-20 minute wait she eventually showed up at about 12:30, and we decided to go to Land's End for a coffee. It was the most expensive coffee I ever had in India and without even taking the price into account, it was a terrible coffee. All this would have been irrelevant if I liked her and enjoyed her company but that didn't happen... she was probably a bit too hyper for me... laughing at absolutely normal things and just getting hung up on something totally inconsequential... she talked for like half an hour about a guy she saw on the road who was getting high on cough syrup... apparently she found it very disturbing and just couldn't get over it. I also got to hear n number of interesting incidents at her current job and previous job and all her travels... one or two of them were actually amusing!

Anyways, at about 2 am, I thought we should call it a night since I had a morning meeting and I still had to prepare for it, plus to be very honest I wasn't enjoying the conversation at all. So we said our goodbyes and went our own ways... she messaged me thrice on my way back, I replied to the first one... and then called again the next day, I was in the office and couldn't answer. Two days later got a message from her saying that I don't look interested to her and it's probably best not to proceed further. I didn't mind it.

This incident made me realize the spectrum of people that are out there on these matrimonial websites... there are girls whom I have been in touch with for more than two months and haven't even gotten beyond talking to their parents and then there are people like her whom I get to meet in two days not knowing anything about each other. The solution probably lies somewhere in the middle... let's see how long it takes me to get to that middle somewhere :-) ... fortunately, I am not in a hurry.

Meet The Parents

So, I got back from office pretty late and after my routine of checking mails and squandering a couple of hours on the internet, went to bed at about 3 am and was soon fast asleep. I woke up suddenly by a phone call... an unknown number... 8 in the morning... I almost decided not to pick it up and ruin my sleep but for some reason answered it - Big Mistake! It was a girl's father and he wanted to ask a few questions for me. I reluctantly consented in my semi-awake state - 2nd Big Mistake! The questions started from the innocuous ones like where do you work, where do you live, how many siblings etc. and gradually shifted to irrelevant ones like what is your grandfather's name, which town in Rajasthan is your uncle from and which district does your hometown fall under and finally culminated at the completely annoying ones such as can I meet you sometime (before I decide that whether I should tell you my daughter's name, what she does and share her number or photograph with you! - this part you guys should know if you read my previous blog...)

By the way, on a totally unrelated but interesting note, I am sitting at the Chicago Union Station waiting for my train to Milwaukee in this huge and beautiful hall called the Great Hall and a young girl sitting on the bench next to me had just pulled out her Violin and has started playing it in a very soft manner... it's lovely... I am more inspired to write this story now... :-)

Anyways, I told him that it's all great but that's not how I would like things to proceed. It would be better if she shares the girl's information with me and we can talk and whatever questions you have, you can route through her as I would like to know the girl before we talk about all sorts of other things... he reluctantly agreed and then proceeded with his questions anyways at which point I had to tell him that I have to get ready for office and will talk to him later. Just the kind of start I needed for the day after a long previous day and an almost sleepless night!

I had barely reached office when my phone rang again... an unknown number but a different one... again some girl's dad with similar questions. I politely told him that I am in the office and can't talk right now and he can call me at night and to no one's surprise he kept on insisting on talking at that very moment... I of course was hell bent on doing it my way anyways, so didn't happen... asked him to call later... he never did.

Some days later I received an expression of interest from a girl's family and on a careful review I deemed the match unfit and turned down the offer. A month later I get a phone call from the girl's mom asking me to look at her profile without telling me that she is the same person that I said no to a month ago... I went and checked her profile and surprisingly my taste had not changed in this one month and I said no again. Then she called me and asked me to explain my rationale... I was like... I don't think it will work out well... she wasn't convinced but I managed to get out of that discussion unscathed.

Meanwhile the first dad, he managed to put me in touch with her daughter... via email/chat... we chatted a few times and I could never tell whether I was chatting to the girl or to her dad himself disguised as her... all she asked me was the kind of questions I had deferred in my conversation with her dad... I can't imagine a girl who is not interested in anything else in a guy except the horoscope and what does my dad do. So, that went nowhere and I had to tell her that it won't work out well for us... she was very nice about it... we decided to stay friends and would drop each other a scrap once in a while over the next few weeks and then all of a sudden one day her dad called and asked me to reconsider my decision. Now, this was an awkward conversation... I don't think either of us was too happy to be in that situation but somehow we ended up there... I had to very politely excuse myself and wish them luck.

All this time my close friends kept trying to convince me that there is no way around the parents... I always maintained a policy of interacting with the girl before I talk to the parents and my profile on the website stated this requirement as well but it wasn't working out too well... I always imagined that the kind of girl I wanted would be open and bold enough to talk to me on her own and make her own opinion about people... sounds good in theory but not in practice. I realized it after talking to a girl I liked quite a bit. She was educated, independent, fun and all such things... she contacted me on her own and I didn't have to talk to her parents before getting her number. But one day she confessed that it was a very tough decision for her to "ignore" that requirement of mine and still express interest in me... she thought it's typically a ploy by guys just to engage in casual dating... and then I realized that's the way many girls and most parents would react to this condition of mine... I eventually met her and her parents as well but it seriously got me thinking about the way I approached my communication with the girl's parents. After some serious thought, I removed that condition from my profile and needless to say subjected myself to 10 times higher number of phone conversations with the parents. But I think I have adapted myself well now, my threshold has gone much higher and I can take even the most redundant or annoying questions with ease...

It's not easy dealing with them I must say... because they are not all the same... some parents are just protective about their daughter, which is ok, trying to make sure that she only interacts with the genuine guys. But then many are just too particular about their own requirements and simply want to make sure that the guy meets each and every such requirement before he even gets to start with his check list so to speak... that's where I have a problem. As long as the playing field is level I am fine... but having to give all my information and details without even knowing it's for a girl I am interested in at all or not, doesn't sound too fair to me. I am still trying to figure out to find a middle road where everyone is happy... not to say that I have become best friends with the parents now but at least I am trying...

So, you think you are ready to say, "I Do!"

20th September 2008

"Aaj unse pahli mulaqat hogi,
Phir aamne saame baat hogi,
Phir hoga kya, kya pata kya khabar..."

By now I know for sure that I have a few Chinese and American readers of my blog so I feel obliged to translate the above into English. I am not going to make an attempt to be poetic and would give a quick and dirty (hereafter referred to as Q&D) interpretation. So the above is a song from an old Hindi movie and the context is that the hero is going to meet the heroine for the first time today and is wondering what is in store for him...

Well, to be technically correct the rendezvous is scheduled for tomorrow but I am on my way to London already, up early in the morning, sitting in a train by the window sipping on my Latte and find it to be a very appropriate time to write this... plus, this is also the sort of time where I can't do much else!

Much has changed from the days of Rakesh Roshan and Hema Malini... I am not on a horse at the moment and neither am I singing the song out load. The latter has got more to do with my voice being not as bearable as Kishore Kumar's. Plus in the movie I don't think he used to talk to her over the phone prior to the meeting either. Again that had more to do with the absence of cell phones and cheap trunk dialing... well, let me take that back... even if they had cell phones, I am not sure if they would have talked a lot, it may not have been taken too well by the families...

Anyways, by now you might have vaguely guessed what this blog is about. If not let me be frank with you and tell you what exactly it is about. (You wish all the poets and famous writers were this upfront in their writing, it would have answered the ever haunting question in exams - So, what do you think the writer is trying to say?). Coming back to my intent, it is to share with you my experiences with finding a life partner and more importantly, finding it 'The Indian Way'. Now I have been debating for a long time whether I should be writing this at all or if I do then should I publish it BEFORE I get married or AFTER! You see, this blog can potentially be read by a prospective bride (who knows, this might be you!) and I have some faint ideas of the unfavourable reactions it might generate :-) ... But I think I owe it to all my friends to make them a part of this unique phase in my life... and I sincerely hope that everyone takes this in the right spirit... nothing personal, no hard feelings. Oh, not to mention this will be an open declaration to my family, relatives and colleagues as well that I am actively looking, most of whom have no clue at the moment that I am doing so... some interesting comments are bound to come from there as well :-) Khair, jab okhli mein sar de hi diya hai to moosal se kya darna. {Q&D Interpretation: If you’re into it already, why worry about the consequences}

It is going to be a challenge for me to keep this blog short or for that matter end it anytime soon since this is an ongoing process and so much happens on a regular basis. I think I will keep posting updates to the blog every few days as and when things happen, so if you are interested come back may be once in a week or two.

So, let's start (so much for setting up the stage...). After several failed attempts at finding myself a girl friend and an almost equal number of failed attempts by my parents to find a girl whom we could both agree upon I decided to take matters in my own hand and... no, not to look for a girl friend (I tried that already, remember?), but look for someone on the internet. I thought this would be an ideal solution as this will allow me to look for someone I like and at the same time keep my family's preferences in mind as well. Plus, I am on the internet 90% of my waking time anyways, so why not do something meaningful while I am there for a change I thought. Since I am not getting paid by these websites (I am paying them on the contrary) I will at least deny them free publicity by not mentioning their names here. It will send them a strong message of the repercussions of making me pay! (whom am I kidding, but whatever...)

It's been less than a month since I started this process but it's been a very eventful month, sometimes amusing, sometimes fun and sometimes just plain frustrating. One reason why my parents' attempts to find me a girl failed was because of the way things work with families, at least mine and the ones my family was talking to. In many cases, first the families would do an extensive analysis of each other (who does what, draws what salary, lives where, social status, right caste, language, religion etc) and then match the two horoscopes. If things are good so far then the families get quite excited about the possibilities and are already talking about how wonderful the match is... all this without me and the girl knowing each other's name or seeing photographs. Forget having the details of education, interests and the like, things that are considered trivial by many families. You do get a chance to meet each other once, in the presence of the family of course, during the typical - 'Meet The Family' session. If you are fortunate you will be left alone with each other for some time to ask each other a few questions and try and break the ice. If you are extremely fortunate you will get another meeting like a lunch or dinner outside if the girl's family has a modern outlook. And then you decide! Based on a less than 50 minute discussion you decide that you want to spend the next 50 years with each other. Call me indecisive but I find it a bit hard to do. Ok, I might have chosen an extreme case as an example but you get the idea... but even in the best case I wouldn't have as much flexibility and confidence in my decision as I would like to. That's when I recalled a speech made to us by the Dean of Kellogg at ISB. He said - "Take Charge". I did.

22nd Sept

So, I met the girl and had a fun evening with her that comprised of a coffee, a long walk and dinner along with some interesting conversation. I won't have to think hard about how to describe the meet as Bollywood comes to my rescue here as well :-)

“Poochho na yaar kya hua, unka deedar kya hua
Sapne mere rang laaye, haan laaye
usne kaha main teri hoon jana...”

{The Q&D interpretation: After the meeting, the guy is telling his friends how great the encounter was and that his dreams have come true and how the girl expressed her love and so on...} Well, the above song may not be an exact representation of what happened but I don't think it's too far from it either... e.g. my dreams may not have come true but at least I got a glimpse of them :-) and she might not have confessed her love for me but neither did she tell me that she doesn't! That's a start, isn’t it?... On a second thought, she might not have liked me too much and probably just pretended all along that things were going well... On a third thought, maybe she was dying for the date to get over so that she can go back home and bitch about me with her friends but just sat there as a matter of courtesy! I am scared of even getting the fourth and subsequent thoughts...

Well so much for my entry into the game... I may not have come out victorious this time, but the game has just begun and at least I am not a rookie anymore :-)